VO2 max test....what was I thinking?

Sometimes I wonder if I think before I just say yes to some things. So as you know I work at the Wellness Center on campus. We perform different kinds of tests that help people know how fit they are. One of these is the Sub VO2 max test. This test is done to tell you how well your body utilizes the oxygen you breath to produce energy while you exercise. In our test we have someone get on the treadmill for about 9-12 minutes with normally no more than a 6 minute run if even that. We record their heart rate and the final speed put it into a ridiculously long equation that I always wonder who really has the time to come up with these things.

So now the point of my explanation, well as I was talking to one of the volunteers I found myself agreeing to have an actual VO2max test done. I figure I run a couple times a week and teach cycling 2 times a week how bad can it really be? Oh man am I an idiot! So I get to the room totally excited put on my heart rate monitor only to find I am a little nervous and my heart rate is already around 105. Normal heart rates at this point are in the 70's and 80's. Then they hand me the THING.
If you have ever seen this done it is the most awkward thing you could ever wear. You put on this head thing that shoves a tube down your throat, then they put a padded nose plug on you, all while your own drool is now dripping down your chin plus you can't talk so you just make noises that no one understands. Beautiful right? So before I even begin they stab me! What! Since when are you taking my blood. So now I begin running. I start at a 5.2 not to bad and every two minutes they take a sample of my blood and increase my incline. About 5 minutes in at a 5 percent grade I am regretting my decision. They attempt to encourage me and then tell me that I need to go until I reach lactic threshold then at that point I can up my speed and just go for it. Up my speed what the crap are you talking about I am about to die. Which I learn later is the point of the test. They technically want you to go until you basically fly of the back of the treadmill while skinning you knees on the way down! So I reach 9 minutes and my life sucks! I can hardly breath and I am choking on my own spit and no one can understand my plead for help! So at 12 minutes and a 7% grade I die, I physically could not go one more step. And then I find that my VO2max sucks! What a waste of the worst 12 minutes of my life! To make it worse I go back a second time not prepared almost pee my pants forgetting that it would be smart to do this before I start the test and go home commando from work! How embarrassing.